


Why I Left Him

by 18WhyamIdoingthis20



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Character POV, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:06:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27630001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/18WhyamIdoingthis20/pseuds/18WhyamIdoingthis20
Summary: Everyone who's seen Redding Weddy probably wished that Havers had stayed and become a proper BF to the Cap, because he Needs it, so I thought I'd explore what Haver's motives were for leaving his BF.
Relationships: The Captain/Lieutenant Havers (Ghosts TV 2019)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Why I Left Him

**Author's Note:**

> Did I write this instead of doing the work I have due in today? Absolutely! Do I regret this? Probably... (in my defence I'm not feeling 100% today and fanfictions are easier to write than essays)

The Captain was a hard man to work for. In saying that, I don’t mean to suggest that he was a harsh or cruel man, or even an incompetent leader – quite to the contrary in fact. The Captain was a good man, principled, with a good heart, and that was why it was so hard for me to leave him. It was also why I left.

He was a controlled and disciplined man; some of the lads went as far as to call him an automaton, but I could see the moments when he succumbed to his emotions. In front of the company, he held a stoic pretence but in the moments we spent alone I could see moments where his emotions would rise to the surface before he had the opportunity to bury them under a layer of military precision. It was moments like these that made me wish I had stayed.

I kept the knowledge of my departure far longer than a man should from his commanding officer, but I knew telling him would hurt him and lead to another of those moments that would only make me regret my decision, notwithstanding his own eagerness to become involved himself in combat. He was heartbroken when I told him in the end, and I almost thought he was going to finally bring his emotions to the surface, but while I could tell quite clearly that he loved me, he couldn’t tell it himself.  
I had to leave him because, while I loved him dearly, I could never tell him this. He would deny his feelings, bury his heart, and dismiss me from his presence forever. I could never tell him what I really wanted to, never do what I really wanted to, and that broke my heart a thousand times.

I had to leave him because I knew he would leave me.


End file.
